Iron Man

However they got me to teach a class is beyond me. And seriously... Thirty minutes to prep for a class? Shouldn’t that be the time allotted when I’m not hungover from Thor’s parties. 

*Mocking voice*

"Well after you destroyed part of New York and Sokovia we felt it would be nice if you taught a class on techniques of  powers."

Like seriously... I saved the world. Numerous times! I should have my own seat in the Senate. I can see it now. Protector of Congress. No wait! Protector of the United States. Okay, maybe that is a bit much. Whatever.

“J.A.R.V.I.S.” Tony called out.

“Yes, sir?”

“Let’s see who we have for class this semester.”

“Right away, sir. First we have Peter Parker, otherwise known as Spider-Man.”

His name is Spider-Man. What happened to the badass names like Psylocke, Blackwidow, or Gambit? Those were awesome!

“His skills entail being intellectually gifted and well sir, being akin to a spider. He’s able to climb walls and he possesses superhuman speed, stamina, strength, and durability.”

Wow. Okay not so bad for Spidey-Kid.

“Who’s next?”

“Next we have St. John Allerdyce, otherwise known as Pyro. He has the ability to manipulate fire in anyway he can imagine. Intensity, heat, and size are all things he is learning to control. Watch out for his temper, sir. Apparently there was close to an unfortunate mishap with Ms. Pryde last semester in Professor Munroe’s class.”

“Kitty?”

“Yes sir. Oh one more thing. He can’t produce flames.”

“Well, that’s where we’ll start. Let’s work on his ability to produce fire.”

“Um... sir. I don’t think you’re supposed to be helping them add to their pow–“

“Okay we might have a team forming here.”

“Sir I don’t think Professor Xavier wanted you to assemble these kids into a te–“

“We’re on a roll J.A.R.V.I.S.! Who’s next?”

“Lastly, we have Pietro Django Maximoff, also known as Quicksilver–“

"Now, that’s a badass name! We’ll have him work with Web Boy."

“Quicksilver possesses the ability of superhuman speed. He ran faster than the speed of sound for the first time at age 11–”

“So we have a kid who is incredibly nimble, yet strong, he’s incredibly smart, and for all intents and purposes is a spider. We have another kid who might have some temper problems, but he can do whatever he wants with a flame once it starts going. Then we have another who can run faster than anything on this planet?”

“Yes, sir. That is correct.”

“And I’m not supposed to assemble another team?”

“No, sir.”

I wonder what my team’s name is going to be…